SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT

About 3 months ago, Emily's therapists & I noticed that Emily was having periods of jerking her upper body, several times in a row. Her arms would jerk upward & her head would nod slightly. There didn't seem to be a trigger for the episodes. They would happen while she was sitting on the floor, in her highchair, in my arms, during therapy sessions, whenever, wherever. At first the episodes were fairly infrequent, but then started to increase to approximately 10/day. I took Emily to the pediatrician & after I described & demonstrated the episodes to her, she ordered an EEG (Electroencephalogram). The test would measure Emily's brain activity. The doctor was looking for any abnormal brain activity/seizure activity.

Within days, I was at the hospital with Emily getting her EEG done. Emily had to be sleep deprived for the test. The key was to get her to sleep during part of the test so they could record her brain activity while she was awake & asleep. I had to keep her up late the night before & wake her early the next morning. As always, Emily was a trooper!! When we arrived at the hospital, the technician hooked up 22 electrodes to Emily's head with a paste. Emmie was so patient. She laid down & I sat in a chair next to her, rubbed her hand & talked to her. She had a hard time getting to sleep so the tech swaddled her in a blanket & rubbed her cheek with a cotton ball, that did the trick.

During the test, the technician & I started talking about our families. I told her about Eric's deployment & my 2 children with special needs. I always feel it's important to share my story. I don't complain or want people to feel sorry for me. I always feel like we can all learn something from each other & the only way to do that is to listen & share. It's important for us as human beings to know that we are all going on the same journey, but on different paths. In one way or another, we all experience the same things.

Prior to the test, the tech had asked me how often Emily has these episodes & when they started. She was simply gathering information for Emily's file. In the middle of the test, she asked these same questions again. In my heart, I knew something wasn't right. Why would she ask me the same question again???

After the test was over, I asked the tech if she could tell me what she saw on the test & she said she couldn't. As she walked Emily & I down the hallway, she put her hand on my shoulder, gave a little squeeze & said, "You take care of yourself & that little girl". My heart sank & I knew something was really wrong with Emily. I tried hard to think that maybe I was reading into it. I am always the drama queen & I always look for the deeper meaning of things. Deep down, I knew something wasn't right with Emily.

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!

How many of you know the reason we celebrate the 4th of July? I asked my 8 year old nephew today & he said, "Fireworks". Good one, Drew. :) The holiday celebrates America's adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776. On this day, colonies declared their independence from Great Britain. I think many people forget the real meaning of the holiday & its importance in our history. It's much more than BBQs, parades, & a day off from work.

Today I took Aidan & Emmie to the parade with my sister & 2 nephews. It's become tradition for the Lautenschlager's to go to a parade for every holiday. :) We had a good time. The kids waved their flags & Aidan was mesmerized by the firetrucks & police cars. As always, I stood with pride. I am proud of my husband for his service to our country. I am also proud of my grandfathers & their service. I am proud of all of the men & women that have served & are currently serving our country. I am proud of this great country we live in. I am proud to be an American!!

Today is also our Anniversary. 6 years & still going strong!! I always say that Eric & I have lived through more in 6 years than most people have during their entire marriage. During these 6 years, I have spent more than 2 years without my husband (counting deployments & military duty time). On this day it is especially hard for me. It's hard to be alone. I talked to Eric earlier today. It was so good to hear his voice. It's been 2 weeks since I've talked to him. We are all getting anxious for him to come home for his 2 week leave at the beginning of August. As we get closer to the date, I start to feel like a girl in high school waiting to go on a date with her boyfriend. :)

July 4 is a special day for our family. Of course, it is special to us because we are a military family & we honor our country. It's also the day that we celebrate our marriage & the beginning of our little family. I miss Eric & I am feeling a little sad, but it's OK. We are still husband & wife & a family. I am so proud of us & our family.

HAVE A SAFE & HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!

TIME TO CATCH UP...EMMIE TURNS ONE

Wow! It's been so long since I've written. Life has been extremely hectic, to say the least!! The stresses of the day to day routine along with the emotional stress has been catching up with me. There are days when I want to run away from it all, but somehow I manage to keep on going. My little boy & girl give me the strength. One look at them & I know I have no other choice than to keep on going. This Mommy runs on Dunkin' too!! :) Those of you that know me know that I go to Dunkin' Donuts every day, sometimes twice a day for my 'lil pick me up.....an Iced Caramel Latte Lite...even Aidan knows what Mommy likes!) Whatever works, right?!?!

So much has been going on. I've decided to divide it into several different entries for easier reading. Enjoy!

Emmie is now 15 months old!! She turned 1 on Easter. It was a very special day. I felt so much on that day. I was so happy & excited for my girl's special day. I felt proud to have her as my daughter, proud of what she had accomplished & how far we had come as a family. The days leading up to Emmie's birthday were difficult for me. I found myself replaying her birth in my mind, Eric missing Emmie's birth, learning about her diagnosis, the anger, disappointment, sadness...it was hard to escape it. I missed Eric like crazy & I felt sad for Emmie that her Daddy wasn't there to celebrate.

We had a party for Emmie with lots of family & friends. It was a great day! Emmie wore a pink & white party dress with butterflies on it. She looked so sweet!! My mom gave Emmie a very special gift for her birthday. Years ago, my Grandma Joan (my mom's mother) gave me a story called, "Lacey's Pink Party Dress". I think her mother or grandmother passed it down to her. It is the story of a pink party dress that comes to life with the other clothes in the closet. The party dress wants Lacey to choose it to wear to a birthday party. It's very cute & over years it has changed. Grandma Joan personalized it for me. It is so special to me. My mom lost it over the years, but recently found it. She gave it to Emmie on her birthday. Having that connection with the women in our family is a special gift. I can't wait to tell Emmie the story when she gets older.

Emmie loved her cake & playing with her little friends. It's hard to believe she is 1 year old. It's been an amazing journey filled with so many emotions. I am grateful for each & every moment with my girl...Emily Grace, Emmie, Emmie Gracie Girl (as her brother calls her), my Lovie. I am excited to share the rest of the journey with Eric, Aidan, Emmie & all of you.
Who knows where it will take us?

MORE TO COME!!

NASCAR & DOWN SYNDROME AWARENESS

NASCAR is holding a contest for a special design car & this Down syndrome Awareness design has been entered.

Please support this design!! You can vote once a day for the next 4 days. Just click on the link below & then cick to vote for the design.


http://www.sponsafier.com/share/5931

Wouldn't it be so cool to see this car racing around the track!?!?!?! :)

MY OPINION

Emmie is napping & Aidan is busy playing. I want to take a moment to respond to the "R" word entry that I posted. First, I want to thank Kristin for posting a comment. I appreciate your honesty & respect your opinion. I have been guilty of using the word myself when referring to a situation or an inanimate object.

Since having two children with special needs, I have become more aware of the language that I use. I am not going to go off on some rampage about the "R" word, but I want to ask all of you to BE MINDFUL & RESPECTFUL! It sounds so easy to do, but I think some people get caught up in the moment & don't realize that their words are hurtful to others. I also ask that if someone is using that word & you are offended by it, SPEAK UP & tell them that you are offended by it or you don't like the word & ask them to use a different word.
If you are about to use the "R" word, or some other offensive language, STOP & THINK about my children & other people's children. I know you don't mean any harm, but try to use another word & make a change. That's where it all starts.

We are off to get Aidan's glasses fixed. He has huge scratches on one of the lenses & we have to get it replaced. He has been doing a great job & wearing his glasses all day!! He also been using the potty for 2 days now!! NO MORE DIAPERS!! There is a big boy living in this house. GO AIDAN!!! :) We went to WALMART at 8:00 this morning to get a special potty prize. :) Let's hope this continues.

HAVE A GREAT DAY EVERYONE!!

Find something to be grateful for each & every day. Today I am grateful for: Aidan & Emmie, the sunshine, my mom, my husband, good friends, my gym membership, my iced latte, Emmie's therapy....so much to be grateful for!!!!

THE "R' WORD

Emmie has been on Augmentin for 6 days & is starting to feel better. She has some diarrhea from the antibiotic, but that is a common side effect & will pass.

Aidan is on vacation from school this week. I am trying to keep him occupied every day. Today he got 1 of his shots for kindergarten (he was very brave & keeps admiring his band-aid), went to the library & shoveled snow. Aidan was such a big helper! I gave him 50 cents for helping me. He put it right in his piggy bank...just like his Mommy!! :)

I have been so busy, I haven't had a chance to post anything about all the Sarah Palin buzz.

If you don't know what I am talking about, let me fill you in....(This is only part of it. There has been another incident recently...more on that later.)

This was taken from CBS news:

"Former GOP vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin called for President Obama to fire his chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, because of an offensive comment he reportedly made. At an August strategy session of liberal groups and White House aides, the Wall Street Journal recently reported Emanuel told liberals they were "F-ing retarded" for planning to air attack ads against conservative Democrats opposed to health care reform. Palin, whose youngest child has Down Syndrome, said in a Facebook note that "our president is doing himself a disservice by seeming to condone Rahm's recent sick and offensive tactic."

"I would ask the president to show decency... by eliminating one member of [his] inner circle, Mr. Rahm Emanuel, and not allow Rahm's continued indecent tactics to cloud efforts" to debate important issues, she wrote. The post was titled: "Are You Capable of Decency, Rahm Emanuel?"

She called out the White House for ignoring the incident while groups like the National Down Syndrome Society have condemned the remark. The White House has said Emanuel has apologized for the remark and has called the head of the Special Olympics to apologize, Politico reports.

"The White House remains committed to addressing the concerns and needs of Americans living with disabilities and recognizes that derogatory remarks demean us all," a White House official told Politico.

Nevertheless, Palin compared the remark to racist language. "Just as we'd be appalled if any public figure of Rahm's stature ever used the 'N-word' or other such inappropriate language, Rahm's slur on all God's children with cognitive and developmental disabilities – and the people who love them – is unacceptable, and it's heartbreaking," Palin wrote.

What are your thoughts? Was Rahm Emanuel out of line? Should he be fired? What do you think about the "R" word? I want to hear your thoughts. Let's get the dialogue rolling!

Time for this Mommy to hit the couch & get in some TV time! Good night everyone!

EMMIE IS SICK!! :(

It's been a rough few days with Emily. She has been very cranky & fussy & just "off". This is not Emmie at all. I have just been chalking it up to having a cold & teething. Last night she was up for 3 hours last night wih a runny nose, cough, crying, very uncomfortable. It was a long night & morning came very early for all of us. This is not easy to do alone. The only thing that pushes me through is knowing that Aidan & Emmie need me to be strong & be there for them, no matter how tired I am or how stressful the situation is.

Emmie had therapy this morning & she still wasn't herself. She was very hot to to the touch & cranky. I called the Dr.'s office & they got us right in. She had a fever of 103 & has an ear infection in her right ear. She is on antibiotics for 10 days. She has been so sleepy all day. My poor sweet girl, I hate to see her like that. She will have 2 doses of the antibiotcs in her today, so hopefully in a day or 2 she will be back to her happy self.

Luckily Aidan & I have stayed healthy. He has been doing such a good job with his new glasses. He looks so handsome in them. It's definitely an adjustment for him & for me too.

We are doing OK here. We hear from Eric about once a week. I have missed his calls a few times & that is frustrating. He has been extremely busy. His days are very long & stressful. This afternoon I had a little breakdown. Aidan saw me crying & he asked why I was upset. I told him that I miss Daddy very much. He said, "It will be OK. Dad will be home soon. He is saving people." That made me cry harder. My sweet boy! I hugged him so hard & it felt so good. Now, we just pick up, move on & get through the day the best we can. Tomorrow is another day.

Emmie's coughing, gotta run. Let's hope tonight is a good night.