Monday, June 1, 2009

NOT ALL BAD

By now, you might be reading this & thinking how sad & depressing. Believe me, I have my days when I feel like I can't do this. I cry, get angry & wonder how I will get through it. I often think, "Why me? Why Emily? Why our family?" Right now I don't have the answers, so, for now it's just the way it is. Perhaps we will find our answers along the way.

My best medicine is holding Emily & looking into her eyes. She gives me strength. She is such a special & sweet little girl. Emily is the picture of grace & innocence. She melts me every time she is in my arms. I feel guilty when I don't hold her all day or if someone else holds her. I want her all to myself!! :)

We are still coping with Emily's Down Syndrome diagnonis. There are days when I feel like I can't go through this for her entire life. Some days I feel very depressed & like I can't keep fighting. All in all, we are doing fine. We adore Emily. We laugh at her, snuggle & cuddle her. It is amazing to see Emily & Aidan together. The feeling of seeing my 2 children together is indescribable. Aidan loves his little sister. Every day when he gets off the bus from preschool his first question is, "Where is Baby Emily?" He goes right to her & gives her a big kiss. He helps give her bottles & wants to hold & kiss her. It is very sweet.

In the end, this experience is not all bad. I didn't want everyone reading this & thinking we are moping about our house, crying. We go through our day to day like everyone else. We enjoy our children every day. We know that good will come of this experience. Emily is going to change our lives in ways we never knew. I do my best to embrace that.

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